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Bitchy Cast |
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 Polly Richards: "seeking young men with loads of money easily manipulated by their underpants" |
POLLYANNA RICHARDS (Alice)In 1933, when Pollyanna Richards was born, Cla’h’m was a very different place but fortunately it’s improved and now “there are lots of nice young men with loads of money that can be easily manipulated by their underpants”. Pollyanna puts her youthful good looks down to kind contributions from many such nice young donors to her plastic surgery fund and last year all her hard work was rewarded when her body was awarded the coveted “Neepps d’Excellence” prize in California – not bad for a girl originally born into a family with only 30,000 acres of property and having to bear the brunt of owning 40 horses. “It wasn’t easy in those days” she comments. |
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 Rebecca Lisi: "came to Cl'ah'm to shoot poofs" |
REBECCA LISI (Sylvia)Rebecca Lisi only recently moved to SW4 mistakenly having gained the impression that it had now become legal (as she sweetly puts it) to “shoot poofs on the common”. Having realised her error she commented “that’s the last time I believe the bloody Press!!”. Her other hobbies include having her nails painted, installing cctv cameras in men’s gym shower rooms and sticking pins in potatoes dressed in children’s clothes. Apart from this she would like “peace for all the peoples of the world” and “to work with children (particularly ones that look like potatoes)”. |
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Regulars:
The Stud-U-Like gallery - lots of tasty guys with their hormones hanging out just waiting to be booked!
Letters - Come on ladies there must be something you want the world to read about!
- what to do with all that horrible money that Aunty Dorothy gave you at Christmas
Specials:
Agony Aunt - Alice tells you just what to do with your shit-face other half
the make-over page - Clients before and after they shagged one of our guys
Sylvia's Astrology - your love-life in the stars